Letters to my Younger Selves

Dear High School Kris, I used to resent you. I didn’t understand who you were. You were definitely not who I am today. But now I know you were who you needed to be to survive. You were a hunk of marble, and most of the time you merely ran your hand along the surface […]

Read More

The Weight of Emotional Baggage

For the last several months, I’ve been writing one writing related post and one mental health post every month. I planned on continuing that plan through the fall. I have a list of topics to choose from, all of which I’m passionate about. But hypomania has started to fade, and depression is moving in. And, […]

Read More

Back in the Medication Saddle Again

Well, I should think the title of this post is pretty self-explanatory. For the first time since 2010, I’m back on meds. (Except for a 4-month stint in 2011 to get me through a tough semester of grad school, then 9 months in 2013 between weaning Turbo to bottles and trying to get pregnant again. […]

Read More

My name is Kris, and I live with suicidal ideation.

I remember the first time I experienced suicidal ideation. It was my sophomore year of college, during my first depressive episode. I was sitting in my apartment, alone. I’m fairly certain it was a Friday night. It had been a rough day, though I don’t know the specifics. Every day that year was rough. I […]

Read More

Breast is Best, Except When It’s Not

As I mentioned in my last post, I had my baby, Bean (not his actual name), on April 2nd. With my first two babies, I was induced with pitocin and had an epidural. I had great experiences both times, but this time I wanted to try having him without any medical interventions. Thanks to my […]

Read More

What I Remember About Postpartum Depression

This post was easy to write–because I’ve been thinking about it for weeks–but scary to publish. Big deep breath … here we go. I recently read this blog post from a fellow mother with bipolar disorder recounting her experiences with postpartum depression. It’s courageous and beautiful and painful–and brought back many of my own experiences. […]

Read More

I Go To Extremes

Originally posted on my personal blog on September 14, 2009, a┬ámonth after I was diagnosed. Lyrics quoted are from Billy Joel’s “I Go To Extremes.” “‘Darling, I don’t know why I go to extremes. Too high or too low there ain’t no in-betweens,’” I belted as we sailed across Wyoming. I suddenly stopped singing and […]

Read More