Letters to my Younger Selves

Dear High School Kris, I used to resent you. I didn’t understand who you were. You were definitely not who I am today. But now I know you were who you needed to be to survive. You were a hunk of marble, and most of the time you merely ran your hand along the surface […]

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The Weight of Emotional Baggage

For the last several months, I’ve been writing one writing related post and one mental health post every month. I planned on continuing that plan through the fall. I have a list of topics to choose from, all of which I’m passionate about. But hypomania has started to fade, and depression is moving in. And, […]

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Back in the Medication Saddle Again

Well, I should think the title of this post is pretty self-explanatory. For the first time since 2010, I’m back on meds. (Except for a 4-month stint in 2011 to get me through a tough semester of grad school, then 9 months in 2013 between weaning Turbo to bottles and trying to get pregnant again. […]

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The Ruby-Shaped Hole in my Heart

On June 1st, around 3 pm, I noticed my dog, Ruby, trembling on the floor. I knelt down, and while it was clear she was aware of me, she didn’t move. I offered her a treat. She wasn’t interested, and that’s when I knew: Ruby was dying. She improved slightly, hobbling around the house with […]

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Writing Desk Tour

Inspired by Christine’s happy board tour, I thought I’d do my own. I share my office with Kurt’s hunting gear, a guest bed, and a closet full of coats we keep saying we’ll wear but never do (like my snowboarding coat *sniff*). I’ve curated a collection of inspiring and beloved items, mostly related to my […]

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My name is Kris, and I live with suicidal ideation.

I remember the first time I experienced suicidal ideation. It was my sophomore year of college, during my first depressive episode. I was sitting in my apartment, alone. I’m fairly certain it was a Friday night. It had been a rough day, though I don’t know the specifics. Every day that year was rough. I […]

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Breast is Best, Except When It’s Not

As I mentioned in my last post, I had my baby, Bean (not his actual name), on April 2nd. With my first two babies, I was induced with pitocin and had an epidural. I had great experiences both times, but this time I wanted to try having him without any medical interventions. Thanks to my […]

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